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JACK-isms

When I moved to Southern California lo these many years ago, one of the (many, many) things that I loved about the area was the plethora of radio station options.  This, after all, is the land of KROQ.  We have Smooth Jazz, and regular ol' jazz (and blues); we have alternative and adult alternative; we have classical, country, top 40, hip-hop, Mexican and even easy listening.  We also, like any other market anywhere, have classic rock.

Back in the day, I had examples of most of these on my radio presets in my home tuner and in whatever car I happened to own.  I would flip through them by mood or to avoid commercial breaks.  Granted, I usually did my own DJing with the help of CD changers and then iPod, but the problem with those is that once you've heard all those songs...well, you find yourself reaching for the 'skip' button way too often.

My favorite classic rock station was on 93.1 FM; "Arrow 93" they called it, and I didn't know the call letters 'cause ARRO wasn't the call sign even though it was the slogan (All Rock-n-Roll Oldies).  I typically had the radio on for my morning commute, and typically had it on another station 'cause I liked their morning show.  But what I liked about Arrow 93 was that they had no morning show -- they played music, and being oldies it was usually music I knew and liked.  If I was tired of the morning show or they were on hiatus or something, I had an alternative without trying to figure out some other morning show's schtick.

Imagine my surprise when it was gone.  My outrage, even; what the hell is this replacing it?  Fortunately, I gave it a listen.  Gone was Arrow 93, sure, but in its place was JACK FM.  93.1 had a new format -- We Play What We Want.  I was surprised or possibly baffled that What They Want was often to be found on my iPod as well.

This no-format station also has no DJ.  They have two on-air personalities, to be sure; Tami Heide is in a way both of them.  She was on KROQ from before I moved here until 2004, and her next radio gig was plugging the erstwhile Jack-tivities for 93.1.  Their other personality is "the voice of JACK-FM", Howard Cogan, who is promo for the various stations across Canada and the USA.  Ms. Heide and Kent Voss (from Crank Yankers) write the liners that are put in Jack's voice, one of which is the reason I currently know the station's call letters:

Putting the 'BS' in KCBS-FM.

JACK-FM wants to inform you that Father's Day is now named Larry Birkhead Day.

Sorry, but listening to JACK FM doesn't qualify you to use the handicapped space.

It's Friday:  How many pieces of flair are you wearing?

This bunch of songs in a row is only slightly less resentful to be here than Kobe Bryant.

Thanks for listening to JACK FM; take a hundred out of petty cash.

You like it when we play what we want, don't you...you sexy little minx. 

Plus, if the above hasn't convinced you this is some funny shit, maybe hearing some actual liners will change your mind.

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