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I have never been fond of goals.  I don't know if it's a cause or an effect that I don't really have any goals.  I've got some nebulous aspirations that might be considered goals, but as far as concrete goals with measurable success ... nothing.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"  I hate that question, because I haven't planned five years out.  What's the point?  Had you told me five years ago that I'd be sitting here blogging about any of this stuff I'd have laughed my ass off at you and asked if you'd considered working with the drugs.  Summer of 2005 my dad was still alive and my youngest was still in diapers, I had the job I've got now but my boss was a co-worker who'd just started the job a few months prior and we were working in Pasadena instead of Burbank.

Now, my dad's been dead for three years and my youngest just graduated from kindergarten.  I've been at this job for eight years and I'm still driving the car I had then, but it's paid for now.  Five years ago I didn't know what my father had just inherited, it wasn't my business and I didn't even care.  Now that I've inherited it and somehow not blown it all in the past three years, maybe it's time to set some goals.

They're like milestones.  That's about the only good thing I have to say for goals.  Either you haven't made it yet, haven't gotten it done, and it's sitting there taunting you while it's just out of reach, or it's something you've done.  Once you've reached your goal, you've reached the state of "Now what?"

I don't have career ambitions.  I don't want to manage anything.  I don't want to be ... anything other than happy and well-paid.  For doing what, I couldn't say.

A sort-of goal of mine is to be a good father.  My wife assures me that I am, and I'm fine with that, but it's not something I want to stop being.  If I hold it up for myself as a goal, then I can keep reaching for it, but it's not a proper goal for two reasons: One, I'll never get there, I'll never be done being a father; two, it's not even defined.  It's all subjective.

At some point this month I decided it was a goal of mine to be a millionaire.  No specific timeframe, really, just "before I retire" and given the state of the world that could be anywhere from say 60 to 70, or in other words at least 20 years from now.  Then I tried to figure out what sub-goals would be reasonable, but ... if I don't have half a million "in the bank" by 50, does that make me a failure?  How much of this is ultimately luck, or at least "good fortune" (as in "He had the good fortune not to have to spend $70,000 on medical bills")?

One sub-goal in this is sharing the journey.  Hence the first step, this blog, and the announced intention of others.  How many others?  Not so sure, at least two but who knows how long I'll stick with it or how much I can condense into one sitting.


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